British and American best-selling nearly a decade, as the Since late last year in May since it was launched by the Higher Education Press, elicited a strong response in the readers. In Dangdang, Joyo two of China's largest online bookstore in the first half of 2009 introduced tutor / parenting best-seller list, two books ENTRY both. In the near future, The blogger points lower on three of 100 proposals were re-classified in order, striving to show the length of super-concentrated essence of the book.
1 concern for him, but do not be concerned about the harassment he is human
basic needs, children in particular. being concerned about children, that parents care about him, like him, love him. On the contrary, do not be concerned about the children, would think of themselves insignificant, that parents do not really like him, so easy lose confidence in ourselves. to express our concern about the child does not need to spend too much time and effort. it just needs to ask a question or two before we start talking, and then show that our point of view; out for a little while each day time, and talk to him about his life and ideas. to participate in school activities or evening meetings, I do need more time and effort, especially when it means you have to leave work early to leave time. But if you best time to overcome the inconvenience to the scene, let him think he is very important to you, you are serious about his school and learning.
However, in this context, adults may sometimes overdo it. they may make to the child too many problems, and often based on improper grounds, giving children bring intrusion. At this time, the children may be as offensive as the cross-examination of these issues and silent.
recommendations to parents:
for good reasons, straightforward question to ask the question, or to turn a blind eye. Do not try to beat around the bush to what sets from him information, because he must be able to guess you have to do in, so you tight-lipped. < br> waiting for him to take the initiative to tell you the test results. not an opening to ask him how the test results.
when he came home from school, do not ask him what happened today. You can tell him about your What did today, then asked him: What concerns.
Suggestions to Teachers:
not only because of the behavior of misbehaving students to make the performance of a learned helplessness or when to pay attention to them.
you find time to care about some of the classes is very important for students on a private matter. but if you do make some of them feel uncomfortable, would not have insisted.
2 of his true love, not what you expect and accept the love of his
your real child, parents, one of the hardest things. Instead, we always forget his shortcomings that we see it as something, and we dream of his weaving worried about the future: We are concerned Our aspirations will come to nothing. But if you indulge in an idealized future, the reality will always disappoint you. if you shown this kind of disappointment, then, the relationship between you and him that made him the confident, but now they only serve to undermine his confidence.
every child needs others to accept and recognize their true self, not only because he had been a or
recommendations to parents:
Imagine your child never forgetful. you have to understand: If he becomes you want him to become the kind of person, his unique personality may no longer exist, he must be lost.
lists the advantages and disadvantages of his list One of the advantages offset by a drawback, and later added to the list more advantages than disadvantages.
let him live in the moment rather than living in your worrying about his future. He is a long time to grow their own and mature until adulthood.
Suggestions to Teachers:
If you or a student to become a perfect example of the mistakes.
spread the floor on the paper, so that younger children lying on top, and outlined the contours of his body, and later to the characteristics of each child to fill in their own body outline diagram to help them understand their own.
each student to find out who you like a certain respect, this could make it easier for you to him frankly: there are problems that his actions not his man.
3 listen to the views of many children, and less subjective
when the child suffered setbacks, depending on the frustration of a different nature, the parents are usually the response is: not so fast either and feel ashamed, or think it is simply not a problem, which may cause them to neglect their children's fears and worries. If you just heard a very small part of the facts, do not prejudge the responsibility that led to defeat one of your children, do not because he lets you in, such as neighbors, police or school scolded him in front of an awkward position.
because if he seems trivial you feel uneasy, try to see things from his point of view. adults and children see things in different ways, so without hesitation to avoid determine your impose on him.
listen to his view of things, that you respect him and hope he just and seriously, which helps him to maintain self-esteem.
recommendations to parents:
Let your child tell you about him because of what disappointed, and do not underestimate his disappointment.
to the best aspects of his thought, rather than to think the worst aspects.
encountered when siblings fight , listen to each individual finish, followed by asking them what possible solutions.
children do not always want you to solve the problem for him, he may just want to express his views out loud, so you listen to his idea. What do you think they know you can, no need to say it.
Suggestions to Teachers:
a teacher if a disgruntled student, Do not presume to think that the wrong side in the students. < br> listen to his view of things, to avoid prejudice, stereotyping and arbitrary.
Do not you think a child is a troublemaker to the immediate problem that must have his reach.
4 for his independent But do not abandoned his children grow
independence is crucial to the process of exciting the first place. enhance the capacity, experience the challenge and survive, try to take risks and a variety of ways of doing things, to happen to them have more control over things, learn to set boundaries for themselves, all of which the children grow up as independent, responsible adults is essential.
but only to prepare the child after it should allow them independence and responsibility. should not be just for the convenience of adults, let them independence and responsibility, but should take into account children's age, maturity and desire. we should not give him too short of time too much freedom or take responsibility for him, otherwise he will think that we abandoned him. he may seemingly able to cope with various situations, but in fact, he may still feel the need of your companionship, guidance and attention, self-esteem is too strong and not only because of the opening. If he becomes so anxious, feeling powerless, his confidence would be undermined, not enhanced.
feeling of being used if the child and abandoned, or for the commitment and more large the additional responsibilities of freedom corresponding to feel uncomfortable, when his self-reliance and self-esteem may be hurt, rather than enhanced. He may therefore feel anxious or inadequate, it would increase his self-doubt, defeat him self-confidence.
recommendations to parents:
when your child try a piece of the first few new things, please stay beside him, or he can easily find your place, so he will know not everything depends on your own.
if he completed an independent something to you for him to solve the problems that may arise, the arrangements for his travel, or you and one person alone, or alone, made certain things should prepared, and frankly asked him if he truly satisfied.
always understand their children's movements are very important, which helps to ensure his safety, and let him think you're great importance to him.
Suggestions to Teachers: < br> final completion date set, which helps drive them to complete the task of each block, to prevent any student left behind.
the children to complete tasks independently, ask what they may need help.
photo bloggers Anhui TV record for the parents of school programs
5 support and encourage him, and not to control, and force him to
exhausted when your children, support and encouragement will give him more power, let him go further. However, support and encouragement may also evolve into control and coercion. to support and encourage produce good results, while the control is counterproductive and forced to make your child physically and mentally exhausted, and resentment, and may choose to give up the chance to succeed.
support and encouragement, control and coercion, the word itself to indicate what their boundaries. guts to do something new or difficult. In contrast, control, and do not force children to adults share their pressure, but add to their burden. They hinted to the child, do not believe he can deal with their own good thing. They expectations and goals set are more likely to shake his confidence and weaken his courage, not to enhance their confidence and courage.
-control parents are often a variety of tasks for their children; let him participate in many extracurricular activities; He immediately pointed out the mistake; threaten him with money to buy it; one after another for him to set new goals; often complained to the school; in and turn around him, and his homework together, or even directly to him with a rubber erase the error.
recommendations to parents:
concerned about your child's behavior. to the side watching him engaged in various activities. In particular, he make an effort to do something when asked whether he was going.
help him, take him to where he needs to go. and discuss issues with him and answer his questions when he tell you he
problems encountered and success achieved, Please listen carefully. to share his passion for dreams and goals. congratulated him on his achievements.
discover and accept his learning and his favorite way of doing things.
Suggestions to Teachers:
fully informed students progress has been made, so he knows what he still needs to be done.
frustrated when he is in trouble when a plan of action to help him, let him remain on track.
improve and enhance his expressed interest.
star pattern used with caution, graphic tags and incentives. If the students believe that efforts to obtain a reward is no longer a fun thing, the result may be that they no longer strive for anything. < br> 6 let him learn to say no, not the habit of self-esteem can be said to be
child to force him to friends, to act in a strange or frightening for adults to say Children are considered a good performance, and only with approval of others before the children feel accepted by others, more difficult to get away from potential danger, because that might allow them to make fun of others have been, reprimanded or ignored.
have full self-confidence is a way to ensure the safety of children, so parents and other caregivers must develop self-esteem self-confidence as the key to raising a child. However, even with the full confidence of the child can not be from the habit of saying The children jumped into outright say . However, they also will not need to insult and opposition. they need is: allowing them to hold different views; learn to use logical arguments rather than fists to defend their rights; know that others respect their sense of worth.
recommendations to parents:
allow your child to hold different views, so that when necessary, he will have the confidence to become a member of the minority.
allow them to express their emotions experience. If he can do at home to show anger, sadness or excitement, then, in the face of potentially dangerous situations, the more likely to respond frankly and decisively.
tell him you believe in his discretion .
try to respect the choice he make any friends. If you are too frequently criticized him, he is more likely to ignore you on issues of particular concern to those views.
Suggestions to Teachers:
courtesy and respect for others, certainly not out of date, but blind obedience is not. especially the number of older children must have the premise of mutual respect for different views and make their own decisions in the space.
learn to listen to children. respect for the child has the right to different views, and told him politely mm provided he expressed his views. listen to does not mean you have to agree with him.
7 strong his heart, and not let him nerve thickening
Many parents believe that children respond to verbal attacks and armed disappointed is the best way to make his nerve thickening, so that he becomes harsh language crushing the child's expectations, just let him used to pain and suffering to gain immunity. Some parents always told their children that he should not have that kind of mood, his emotions made him vulnerable to the cruelty of life and others damage, so they wanted him to suppress their emotions.
much more sophisticated than the above approach is robust protection of the child within mm his courage and self-confidence, and not his physical appearance. other methods in the implementation process not only would his self-esteem and self-awareness caused great harm, but also that he disguised himself. let him wear the there would be no deal with the benefits of interpersonal relationships.
recommendations to parents:
enhance your child's inner strength: trust him; believe he capable; to the life he must have autonomy; tell him you love him; respect His view of the world.
when he encounters trouble, understand his feeling, to support him and help him through; Do not say that kind of thing to taunt him.
encouraged him to believe and follow your instincts: different conversations.
sure you do not because you think boys stronger than girls, the Do not cling to old-fashioned about the boy or girl's point of view and hold.
8 discipline, but not overbearing
most parents how to discipline their children is the process of raising children was the most difficult thing is Most parents think they do not handle good thing. This does not surprising, because on how to discipline their children, always to no .
reasonable rules and self-esteem are closely related. clear boundaries make children's personal safety, is full of clarity, planning and predictability, while rich in rhythm and regularity. But to achieve above goals, the family parenting styles must be recognize and respect the needs and rights of children. the lack of flexibility and humiliating discipline, little by little, will inevitably undermine the children's self-esteem.
recommendations to parents:
discipline must be clear and adhere to the principle of precedence. Rules to be less and should be simple.
discipline to strengthen mm in most cases, adhere to the rules you set. But when your child flexibility indeed very important, you can have some flexibility.
discipline to be fair and to avoid the child mm because it is the best way to hate you.
Parents should be the same: try to make the same response each time, and both parents in unison.
mm love not gone back to stability, volatility .
mm set a good example for him like you want action as your child.
Suggestions to Teachers:
arbitrariness now no longer works in education (If you've worked through it), because children do not will then accept the barracks-style command and abuse.
and parents, as teachers have to teach the students a clear, firm, fair, consistent, fun, have some flexibility in space. When you change the rules or a request to relax the rules to them the reasons.
have higher expectations of students, set clear rules and objectives, appropriate and engaging lessons progress, the occasional humor and respect for the students forever, its better than intimidation, ridicule and Students laughed much better.
9
punishment but does not teach children how to humiliate their behavior control approach may be effective, it may be invalid. In the long run, the use of humiliating punishment will not receive any results, because this will cause the child to become Resentment. although they were likely to follow orders to do, but they are the result of obedience is mandatory, not cause they'll have to meet.
in order to punish the children learn from good lesson, punishment should be only for their misdeeds, and will not let them feel resentment, anger, pain, can not lead to other unpleasant. In other words, punishment should be fair, do not hurt children's self-esteem. If you taunt him, will have adverse consequences. often stricken and humiliating punishment of children will eventually shame, guilt, self-doubt, until the self-hatred, and may lead to anger, hostility, causing him to make a destructive or self-destructive behavior. < br> recommendations to parents:
If you want to punish the child, try to make it clear, fair, consistent, results-oriented. punishment time is shorter, immediately after your child that you still love him.
each punishment not only for an act of excessive complaining mm or punishment.
punish his behavior, not his man.
children can not fight his punishment, alternative methods include: the abolition of privileges; limit his play like toys or restrict recreational activities; back pocket; let him go somewhere calm and cool; speech rebuked; let him go to bed early.
Suggestions to Teachers:
You may be imposed for any punishment to the child, the total appropriate reminder in advance.
to ensure that by unhappy, the punishment of students is likely evolution of personal attacks.
(except part of the contents statements are adjustments, all of the above words are from Manual: Training of 100 girls, happy, and confident recommendations Bloggers generally do not answer questions about book sales related issues.
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